Similar to most young men in the inner-city I was taught to always look over my shoulder. This common stance of existence is simply seen as a code of survival. Sojourning from a boy to a man I often tend to do the same from time to time. Although I understand that black boys (in majority) lack strong male figures, the truth is that this stance on survival has caused a ton of damage to the community as a whole.
To be completely honest I was never the toughest kid growing up. I learned how to throw the dukes fast, but just enough to push off the wolves.
Containing the low self-esteem that an adolescent carries I thought the young men that lived by this code of survival were the true rockerstars. The previous term doesn't put wrong doers in a delightful status, but signifies the power and respect that they had amongst the masses. While I'm treated as a nomad, the true rockstars are treated and seen as royalty. One could only hope that things would change.
High School is already in full swing and I am a devoted scholar. Early mornings I would encounter a small number of these young men with harassment for the sparing of a dollar or pocket change. This would sometimes be meant with a little mouthing or a constant standing of ground. H.S. was not the easiest ride, but I made it out on time with a diploma.
Once attending BMCC (Borough of Manhattan Community College) I had bigger things to worry about. For me going to a class of avid interest was all the excitement I ever wanted or needed. Besides having to juggle the duty of a co-parent my existence was a stable one. Running errands or just fetching for a snack I would still encounter some of these same young men.
Sitting on the avenue these young men for the first time resembled lifeless interpretations. Their dreams limited. Their world's small. Education or advancement was never the answer for life's unsolved questions. Under the influence of some strange liquor and some cheap weed these young men have the nerve to yell out "You have to respect the culture." The sad reality is that they themselves are disgracing it.
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